Hi everyone,
I haven't posted since I completed my taper on 8/5/08. I was wanting to wait
awhile, hoping to see improvement. I would have to say that I am better now then
I was the day I stopped my taper. I was on diazepam for about a year and then I
was taken off that completely and put on phenobarbital and was to taper off
that.
After about 10 days I had a bad reaction to that and was then on nothing for 5 weeks. My withdrawal got horrible, the anxiety was unreal and like nothing I had every experienced. After 5 weeks I was put back on diazepam but on a much lower dose.
Originally I was on 15mg/day but I was only put back on 5mg/day. Unfortunately that Doctor didn't know what he was doing and I didn't find this website until after the fact. From Dec. 07 until Aug of this year I did a slow taper off the 5mg.
My taper was horrible and very challenging. I starting tapering .5mg every two weeks but once I got down to around 2.5mg, I started tapering .2mg every 12 days or so. The thing I found very hard was my symptoms didn't always get worse with a cut, but out of the blue would get so much worse. It's like my body was playing catch up from all the cuts and I know only going back on 5mg made things very hard.
I'm not going to go into detail about all the symptoms I had but I will say how I am now. I have had this constant movement/bobbing sensation in my head since about April. It is still there 24/7 but it has gotten less intense. My balance use to be horrible, but now it isn't as bad. I'm still unable to work and I can't handle many things as far as going out and being in public but I can for sure handle more today than I could three months ago. I feel once this movement crap stops completely, I will be a different person. I can't wait to be able to work again and just lead a normal life.
As horrible and challenging as this past year has been, I am glad I am no longer on that evil pill and I know that eventually I will be back to my normal self. Throughout my taper I had to take baths not showers because of my balance but now I can take showers. My mom had to help my with almost everything around the house, but now I can pretty much take care of those things. I never drove at all during the taper, but now once in awhile I will drive. I can only go short distances as I feel the movement so much, especially when the car isn't moving!! I can handle more interaction with friends when at one time I didn't even want to talk to them over the phone. My sleep is still pretty restless but several months ago I would practically lay awake all night!
I'm just giving some examples I can think of to let those know who are doubting their recovery that it does come. It is slow, tremendously slow for me but I'm hoping in another three months I can write another post with much better news.
I wanted to thank the mods for all of their help along with everyone else that helped me out at one time, I really appreciate it!!!
Good luck to everyone!!!
Jen