Chemical Rape of Body, Mind and Soul:
An Account of Benzodiazepine
Dependence
Foreword
This account contains little more
than the 'Bare
Bones' of over 50 years of my life. It includes over 16 years of
medical treatment, using the benzodiazepines to treat the many side
effects caused by the benzodiazepines, resulting in admission to
psychiatric hospitals, loss of career, marriage, family, home
and severe intellectual impairment.
I have tried to highlight three key
areas --
Misprescribing, Misdiagnosis and Mistreatment -- that are common
elements in most accounts of benzodiazepine dependency.
One day in 1969, I was driving to my home town of
Reading, England. for the first time in many years, when I decided to
contact my family doctor, who had taken an interest in my life
and career. That spur of the moment decision radically altered my
life and that of my family.
I had recently returned to England from the USA,
where I had worked
for 8 years as a physicist at the University of
Illinois and for IBM Research in New York State.
I mentioned to the doctor, that I had experienced
recent bouts of vertigo and he prescribed me what I now know to be
Valium. Over 16 years later, I had lost my career, marriage, family,
home and possessions, living on Social Security in a Bed and
Breakfast hostel, with a mental age of about 10 years.
During my upbringing, I had few health problems,
less than 10 visits to doctors in the first 35 years of my life. I
represented my school, town and county at several sports and
competed in several National Athletic Championships. I also represented
my University at soccer, table tennis and athletics.
Between my school and University years, I spent one
year working at Harwell, the Atomic Energy Research Establishment,
where my interest in Nuclear physics was stimulated. I attended the
University of Reading, where I obtained a BSc in Physics and a PhD
in Atomics physics. After a two-year period of post doctoral research,
I
was married and took up an appointment at the University of Illinois.
From early childhood onwards, I had close links with
my local church, being very active in the choir, social and
sporting activities. Later, I became a member of the Parish
Council and the Diocesan Synod.
Although much of my early years on Valium is hazy, I
can with hindsight detect the slow and insidious nature of
Valium dependency. I can remember short term memory loss and problems
with concentration that were affecting my work. (On my
return to England, I had taken up a post with an International
Electronics Company, in the field of semiconductor physics). Although I
had
published over 30 scientific papers, I was finding it difficult to
write up recent work and after several promotions, I asked to be
relieved of some of my responsibilities. I was becoming Introverted and
began to isolate
socially, giving up my links with the church and
sports. A marked change in my personality and character occurred over
a few years, accompanied by a range of physical problems as well
as anxiety and panic attacks.
In 1974 my local doctor stopped the prescribing of
Valium overnight, and in 5 days, I was admitted to a private
psychiatric hospital for what I now know to be "cold turkey"
withdrawals. I
was initially diagnosed as schizophrenic and for the period
1974-1976, I spent several periods in this hospital, receiving various
drug therapies, including continuous narcosis and about 25 sessions
of ECT.
At the end of this period, I was asked to accept
redundancy from my work, on the grounds of ill health. The only
explanation given to me and my wife, was that I had had a nervous
breakdown. During the next 10 years, I was prescribed diazepam
(Valium), Chlordiazepoxide (Librium), nitrazepam (Mogadon),
temazepam, prazepam, a wide range of antidepressants and
several neuroleptics.
I had tried several times to resurrect my working
life, including a period as a tutor in Adult Basic Education,
unsuccessfully. Not surprisingly, these events took a heavy toll on my
marriage, resulting in a marriage separation. My wife was also
prescribed Valium and became dependant on them for several
years.
I was by this time taking 100 mgs of Valium / day,
all prescribed, and my physical and mental health had greatly
deteriorated and after a failed attempt to restart our marriage, I gave
up
my part-time work and obtained a divorce.
After the divorce in 1981, I isolated even more and
moved from the Midlands to Bournemouth on the South coast of
England, where I knew no one. After a while I sought help from a local
doctor, who immediately stopped my supply of Valium in a few
days. Within 2 weeks, I was in severe withdrawals again and
admitted to a psychiatric hospital where I was threatened and
blackmailed into having ECT. I later learned that the records showed
that I did not sign a consent form and that a diagnosis of severe
benzodiazepine withdrawal was made, followed by a note for ECT to
be given.
The next five years were a continuous nightmare of more
benzodiazepines, antidepressants and other drugs.
Every day was a
huge conscious effort to achieve the basic facets of
life. I was
living by myself and with the help of ex-colleagues,
managed to
obtain a junior post at a University Research Laboratory, thinking that
a return to the 'love of my life' would help me
back to 'normal' life. This with hindsight, predictably
ended in disaster. I was working away from home during the week and
returning to Bournemouth at weekends, needing more and more drugs
to stave off withdrawal symptoms, obtained readily on repeat
prescriptions.
In April 1985, I was refused a prescription with no
explanations. I was later to find out, that because of a restricted
National Health Service prescribing list, prazepam was no longer
available. So again, I went into cold turkey withdrawals and ended
up in a psychiatric unit, put back on drugs and after a
rapid two-week withdrawal programme, I was sent home.
The next six months are a complete blur, I now know
that I was going in and out of fugue states (similar to alcoholics
blackouts). I had previously had an epileptic seizure and these states
are known to be associated with epileptic activities in the brain.
Fortunately, during my stay in a psychiatric hospital, I had met
a counsellor at a 12-step Treatment Centre, and he managed to get me
admitted for a three-month period of treatment, which turned out to be
the beginning of my recovery.
For the first two years, I suffered from insomnia,
anxiety, fear and panic, with very poor short- and long-term memory. I
had virtually lost all of my life and social skills and I did
little except attend 12-step meetings every day. These were my only
means
of support; the medical profession had neglected me. Soon after, I
came out of treatment, I asked my doctor for help with
rehabilitation, but at the first mention of benzodiazepine dependency,
I
was met with a stony-faced, glassy-eyed silence, and an opening of
the door to indicate the appointment was over.
After two years in recovery, the anxiety, fear and
panic levels had dropped appreciably, but my short- and long-term
memory was still very poor. I was going through protracted
withdrawals (an extended period of side-effects produced by the drugs)
and I
was finding it difficult to cope with the responsibility of living
in my own home. I managed to make some money by selling my home and
became a wanderer for a few years, living in bed and
breakfast hostels, with friends and with my brother and family in
Perth,
Western Australia, for several lengthy periods. I also took two
round-the-world flights, visiting various countries, including the
USA, Australia, Fiji, Hong Kong and Singapore. I attended 12-step
groups in these countries and received a great deal of help, support,
care and attention from them.
In between my travels, I started to re-study maths
and physics, at O Level (16 years) and A Level (18 years) standard. I
believe that in this period as well as re-learning, I was doing a
very important thing: a necessary reconditioning and reprogramming
of my brain. This culminated in a series of memory floods in
1989-90, during which my long-term memory largely returned. From
that time onwards, my short-term memory and concentration slowly
improved. Later in 1992, as a part of the benzodiazepine litigation, a
neuropsychological examination revealed deficits in
cognitive ability in at least six areas. My IQ at that time had
reached 120, well short of the pre-benzodiazepine level.
During one of my stays in Bournemouth, I became
aware of the legal action against the manufacturers of the
benzodiazepines, which I joined initially, with the hope of getting my
medical records (several previous requests had been denied by the
medical profession), when I finally managed to get them, to
my horror, it was clear that the prescribing doctors knew of my
addiction since the mid-1970s, and had failed to advise me or my
family. On the contrary, several had flatly denied it with comments
like: "Stop playing doctor and burn your books" and "You will
take Valium for the rest of you life, if you wish to be my patient".
One letter from the treatment centre advised my doctor, that, I was
seriously brain-damaged, and that the prognosis was uncertain. I saw
this doctor several times after treatment, and he failed to
advise me, or my family, or offer any help in recovery.
The English Benzodiazepine Litigation, paid for by
the Legal Aid Board, was beset with many problems right from the
start in 1988. It finally collapsed in 1993, when funding was
withdrawn in 1992, I and several other claimants had formed Victims of
Tranquillisers (VOT), in an attempt to overcome the appalling ignorance
shown by many solicitors and medical experts of the nature of
benzodiazepine dependence and its consequences.
We became litigants in person and fought our case
through the High Court, the Appeal Court and the Supreme Court (House
of Lords). Much as expected, our case was rejected and we are now
suing the UK Government in the European Court of Human Rights,
for denial of our right to a fair trial.
My medical records reveal over 40 adverse reactions
to benzodiazepine ingestion. Today 15 years on, most of
the physical and cognitive problems have either disappeared or
are at a level that can be incorporated in every day life, but,
time does not heal the sociological problems and losses.
Although officially retired after many years of
being unemployed and unemployable, I spend most of my time as National
Co-ordinator of VOT. The need for such an organisation is still
growing, because unfortunately, the medical profession has not learnt
its lesson from the past over the prescribing of sedative-hypnotic
drugs. VOT members handle many thousands of enquiries by mail,
telephone, fax and email. and hopefully one day, will all make sure
that the authorities, who are responsible for this medical
scandal, are made accountable.
As of today, I have not met a doctor, who has the
courage and honesty to look me in the eye and admit to the
benzodiazepine dependency problem, let alone offer an apology for
their role in it.
It appears that many have turned the Hippocratic
Oath on its head: "First Do No Harm" now applies to themselves and
the medical profession, NOT THE PATIENTS.
Quotations
"Institutions, like some individuals, are
constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves." ~ Anon
"There is a bar against all information, which is
proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in
everlasting ignorance - that principle is contempt to
investigation." ~ Herbert Spencer
Dr. R. F. Peart, BSc, PhD, RIBA, SOP*
Victims of Tranquillisers (VOT)
Flat 9, Vale Lodge
Vale Road
Bournemouth
BH1 3SY
Tel: 01202 311689
* Bachelor of Science, Doctor of Philosophy,
Recovering Iatrogenic Benzodiazepine Addict, Survivor of Psychiatry
Dr Reg Peart - A tribute
When I heard of Dr. Reg Peart’s passing, my first thought was the Lord’s Word, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” Those words have been used by various people at various times. During WWII, they were changed a bit to say “brother” instead of “friends” and were put on advertisements to sell war bonds. It was a war that Reg was fighting. Not a war that many people even know about, but a war nevertheless. A war that is worldwide, just as WWII was. It was the war against drugs. And it wasn’t the drugs that were sold on the streets. It was, and still is, the drugs that are prescribed by doctors who usually mean well, but are destroying lives and producing stories like Reg’s, repeated all over the world many times over:
Reg spent almost every minute of his life, following his own recovery, researching benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome. He spent countless hours on the phone and writing people. He helped people all over the world overcome the hideous withdrawal too often seen from this class of drugs.
Many people, once recovered from this syndrome, desire to put it all behind them and want nothing more than to try their best to forget it. Once in a while a special person comes along and says, “This isn’t right. I have to do something.” Reg was such a person. And he ‘did something’ until he no longer could. Reg is gone from this world now, but the legacy of love and care he left still remains. It remains in the years of research he did for those who needed proof that benzodiazepines do cause neuron receptors changes that can take months or years to return to normal. It remains in the papers he wrote to help people learn more about what was happening to them. It remains in the memory of the gentle English voice that told so many, “You will get well.”
As I suffered my own withdrawal, I often stopped and asked myself, “Why?” I’ve never expected the answer while here on earth, but I have always imagined it was so that I would learn some things. And maybe one of those things was that there are still people on the world who care about others more than themselves. If so, I had the pleasure of knowing one of those people, an older, English gentlemen, a good man, a man who gave more to others in one year than many of us manage in a lifetime.
We will miss you, Reg.
debra / Co-owner of Yahoo Benzo Support Group
Dr. Peart's
Sample Tapering
Schedules & Crossover Notes