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Depersonalisation and Derealisation

These are descriptions of how individuals experienced various symptoms during withdrawal. While everyone's withdrawal is unique and symptoms will be different for everyone, it may be useful to know what others went through.

All withdrawal symptoms can be caused by things in addition to withdrawal. If a symptom is persistent or you are worried by it, it is always a good idea to get it checked out by your doctor to ensure nothing else is going on.

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Definition:

Depersonalization: (psychology) A state in which the normal sense of personal identity and reality is lost.

Derealization: The feeling that things in one's surroundings are strange, unreal, or somehow altered.

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What I've Felt:

"You feel that you're going crazy or that some thing has temporary hold over your thoughts and senses, especially your vision. You look down at your hands, which look frail, foreign, distant. This scares you, so you look to a friend for solace, but looking into her eyes heightens the unreality. Is this person real? you wonder. Am I about to pass out? Am I even here? Who am I?

Sounds can take on a tinny, far-away hue, perhaps preceded by a spot of tinnitus; and textures feel either too slick or too tough. You may get a metallic taste in your mouth. Just as the final stages of this physical shift happen, so, too, does a mental one. You feel as if  you are a concrete figure trapped in a cartoon world, or that you are a cartoon figure trapped in a sharp, colorful Panavision universe. In either case, reality has become inaccessible in an alarming, sudden way.

With depersonalization/derealization (DP/DR), I realized quickly that I needed to learn to tolerate, and not fear, these symptoms, or I would go nowhere. I manifested DP/DR every day, and almost invariably felt DP/DR when I'm in an environment with fluorescent lighting, experience low blood sugar, or end up locked in conversation with anyone who makes a point of direct eye contact.

In the first case, there is some scientific evidence, and certainly plenty of anecdotal evidence, that fluorescent lights trigger DP/DR, even in people not in withdrawal or in a state of chronic anxiety. " - Matt

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What I've Felt:

“I used to sit here and think ‘What is exactly wrong with me, I feel terrible and this feeling makes me dysfunctional and yet it is hard to say exactly what symptoms I have that make me feel like this – but I do know it is somehow coming from my brain.’ I think this is how I experienced derealization - it was some sort of recognition that neither I nor the world was OK.

Sometimes I set off to make the long walk between my bedroom and the family room and I would need to stop in mid-step just to check that I was Ok and I was going to make it. To get a simple task done like taking a shower I would need to think through the steps needed to accomplish the task and then talk myself through the steps as I went – get a towel, walk to the shower, turn the shower on etc” - Anthea

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What I've Felt:

"I used to get visual disturbances like the floor looked tilted or the table I was leaning on seeming like it might flip, the floor also felt weird under me, many odd symptoms, felt like a bad trip, but it eventually it started to become less intense and the windows where things felt normal became wider."
 

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What I've Felt:

"I felt shorter as I looked at the floor. I would feel like I was falling into it. I think it was because most of my senses were greatly intensified, Sight, smell, sound, and touch. Taste was the only one of the five senses that reduced, rather than increased."

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What I've Felt:

"This falling into the floor feeling made traveling in a car very disturbing, I would have to lay back and close my eyes. It felt like I was traveling 1000 mile an hour, kind of like "warp speed" on Star Trek, or falling in a roller coaster. This did get better, but lasted for several months. Still comes and goes a little."

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What I've Felt:

"For me, DP is like being several steps away from ones self, or almost like your soul and your physical being are divided, your voice doesn’t sound like its coming from where you are ,its like its coming from the other side of the room, or somewhere else, its a sense of literal and total detachment from your self. I had some severe episodes in the early days, and tried to think of it as positive thing, I believe DP is a survival mechanism, it’s your minds way of detaching from trauma, and while it feels completely insane and deeply unpleasant at the time, it is actually the minds way of protecting "you" – taking a break if you like. It also has its roots in anxiety, DP and DR generally go together, I never experienced one without the other."

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My Coping Strategies:

bullet Acceptance
bullet Deep breathing
bulletDon't look people in the eye -- look at their eyebrows
bulletEat small, frequent high-protein snacks to keep your blood sugar steady

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Disclaimer:  The information contained in this website was not compiled by a doctor or anyone with medical training. The advice contained herein should not be substituted for the advice of a physician who is well-informed in the subject matter discussed. Before making any decisions about your health or treatment you should always confer with your physician and it is always assumed that you will do so.

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Last updated 21 July 2020